What matters most, but that's a matter of time

The last three days at the Methodist Church of Southern Africa's conference on same relationships and the blessing of same sex civil unions has been most enlightening.

The reality is that we have discovered, what is in fact the only possible position of integrity that we can hold (in my opinion), that we have a variety of perspectives and positions on this matter. While there are two broad perspectives, those in favour of blessing such unions and accepting persons with a same sex orientation within all spheres of the Church, and those who do not - there were just as many subtle variations within these two broad perspectives as there were members (33 persons in attendance).

Some lamented the fact that we did not adopt one position over the other (i.e., an inclusive or an exclusive position). My own understanding is that I am grateful that we have not done so! If my position was taken at the exclusion of other positions we may well have found that the Church would split, since any difinitive position would include some and exclude others.

Here's what I've discovered:

1. That the persons who hold the various positions generally do so not with malice, but with deep conviction, faith and sincerity.
2. That one cannot even hold with certainty that there are two clear positions on this matter. The truth is that there are many positions, each one held with the same sincerity, love, and faith. So, to adopt one position would ALWAYS be a compromise for the majority of persons.
3. The third thing that I have realised is that even the firmest held positions tend to change through encounter and relationship. One of the ministers at the gathering shared the testimony of his gay daughter, this has clearly softened the hearts of many here. This is the thing that has struck me most! Here's a picture of me with my son. I love him desperately, as I love my daughter. As a father, and a Christian, I know that God would honour my love for my son, and that God would want me not only to be a good father to him, but also to do everything in my power to find a place for him within the community of the Church! Let's just say that my son ever came to me and said that his sexual preference is different from mine, i.e., he came to realise that he has a same sex orientation. Yet, the Church that I serve cannot offer him either blessing of space. That would present me with a HUGE problem! I should have to seriously consider whether I could belong to a Church that does not accept and love my Christian son, simply because of a sexual preference.

Do you see what I am getting at?

So here's the final thing I would like to add at this point.

4. The only possible position that the Church can hold with integrity is a position that recognises the truth that we have varying AND evolving positions on this matter - as such the only true position is not one on human sexuality, but rather one that makes a clear statement on the nature of the Christian Church. If the Church is loving, if it is the Church of Christ who loves and created the whole universe, then this Church needs to be careful to create space for everyone who Jesus loves! So, the only responsible way forward is a statement on the mininstry and mission of the Church. The Church is the Church of Jesus who loves all people and that we shall bear the pain and struggle of living together in love with those with whom we may not agree. Furthermore, my prayer is that we shall allow the grace of Jesus to so penetrate our hearts that we will not only feel love towards all persons, but that we shall find practical ways of allowing that love to find expression in diverse and varied manners within the Church.

Currently there is not an equal balance of power between those who reject persons of a same sex orientation and those who accept and affirm them - for this balance to become a reality the Church will need to make some space (carefully regulated, and carefully scrutinized and managed) where some clergy and Churches can be allowed to bless persons of a same sex orientation who love Jesus completely and have same sex relationships that meet the standards of Christian sexual ethics.

This may seem controversial, but I hold this position because of the Lord that I know, the Church that I love, and the knowledge that I have of the Lord who loves both the world and the Church in all of its forms!

As for the meetings, Gus and I shall need to edit the audio recordings and make them available. The meetings have prepared a statement that will be made public once it has been sent to the Presiding Bishop. It is not the same as my statement above, but I can also say with certainty that the statement does not openly favour either an inclusive or an exclusive point of view.

Let me know what your thoughts are!

All for the sake of Christ and His Kingdom!
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