Dion's random ramblings

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Conclusive proof that Benny Hinn performed a 'miracle' according to experts - Hayibo!

A friend tweeted the following story today. It comes from hayibo.com (hayibo is an African word that exclaims surprise, disbelief, and shock).

If ever you were sceptical that Benny Hinn (well known for his hairdo, lovingly called a Hinn-doo) cannot perform miracles, then here's some conclusive, expert, proof!

Benny Hinn performed miracle in Johannesburg say experts

JOHANNESBURG. Religious and scientific experts say there is strong evidence that American televangelist Benny Hinn performed a "genuine verifiable miracle" in Johannesburg on the weekend. According to the experts, Hinn and his colleagues made thousands of dollars disappear from the bank accounts of worshipers, before making the money reappear in offshore accounts.

Hinn's followers say there is nothing supernatural about the movement of funds from South African to American banks, but veteran observers of paranormal events are adamant that a verifiable miraculous event took place.

The miracle was widely publicized over the weekend by News24.com, which reported that Pastor Todd Koontz, one of Hinn's on-stage colleagues, told worshippers that God would turn them into millionaires or billionaires within twenty-four hours if they donated $1,000 by credit card.

According to News24.com, hundreds of worshipers mobbed the stage with their credit cards after Koontz told them that the window of opportunity for the blessing was only two minutes.

This morning investigators from the Vatican, as well as representatives of the scientific community, agreed that a miracle had taken place.

"A fool and his money are easily parted, but this was something special," said head investigator, Cardinal Dante Purgatorio.

Psychologist Gunter Glibb agreed.

"To make that many adults behave in such a profoundly silly manner, to hand over thousands in return for a 120-second shot at being written a cheque by some sort of imaginary heavenly cashier ? something more than idiocy, ignorance, naivety and greed was at work here."

The South African organizers of the weekend's gathering could not be reached for comment on the alleged miracle, but hotel staff said that they had last been seen checking out in the early hours of Sunday morning, "giving each other high-fives and lighting cigars with smoldering R200 notes".

Meanwhile journalists at all of South Africa's major media stables are eagerly waiting to hear from any person who became a millionaire or billionaire twenty-four hours after making their donation to Hinn's Miracle Crusade.

According to a leading Johannesburg editor, three worshipers have come forward so far.

"The first two were a couple who got an email from the widow of a Nigerian prince, promising them $200 million if they sent a $500 administration fee," he said.

"Ag shame, they were pretty stoked, and they'd already sent the money, so we didn't say anything."

He said the third had been a Ms Frillypanties Mazakadza, who said she had been given $600 million at work the day after attending the Crusade.

However it was quickly established that this had been a tip at the Harare coffee shop where she works as a waitress.

It pains me that true Christ followers should be lumped in the same boat as people like this...

For those of us who feel, and act, differently to this person. Let us work to display the true healing and transformative power of Christ in the world. Let us feed the hungry, clothe the naked, care for the sick, and spread Christ's love, acceptance, and forgivness through simple acts of sacrifice and witness.

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