Under pressure... An exile from the Church... The difference between tasks and responsibilities

Being in leadership is often quite lonely and difficult. I face demands, expectations, and the weight of trust that is placed in me - and, I admit that I am not worthy.

In the New Testament Luke uses a word to speak of Jesus' suffering in the garden of Gethsemane (an interesting name for that place of suffering, it literally means a place of pressure. It is an olive press) - the word that Luke uses is thlipsis it means a variety of things:

NAS (45) - affliction, 14; afflictions, 6; anguish, 1; distress, 2; persecution, 1; tribulation, 16; tribulations, 4; trouble, 1;

thlipsis - it describes how I feel tonight. I am troubled. I am pressed. I feel distressed. My heart is crushed.

A good friend has resigned from the Ministry because of the inability of our denomination to embrace his radically mission oriented faith. Can you imagine, being pressed out of the Church because you want to do mission!? This friend wants nothing more than to bring people who are on the fringes of society into the centre of Christ's love. There is no structure, or regulation, or procedure, that can capture the miracle of a person finding that God loves them. But, sadly the Church cannot cope with creativity - I feel that all the time as I sit in my meetings. We are an old wineskin. We fear bursting, so we do not accept new wine.

Kev you encourage me (literally, you give me courage) to love Christ, and those who Christ loves, more extravagantly - that means both the Church and those whom the Church struggles to accept! I am sorry that we could not help the Church to see how radical the Gospel is.

My only prayer is that the Gospel will be greater than our fumbling.

You see when it comes to Christ, and Christ's love, there is a significant difference between tasks and responsibilities.

I have often felt that just about anyone can perform tasks (write letters, conduct meetings, draw up statements, hold hearings...), but not everyone has the love and courage to bear the responsibility of being pressed for the sake of the Gospel. I run from the cross of Christ's death, and so his suffering mother stands alone. I fear going to the empty tomb because I just may find that he is not there. I struggle to see Jesus in the dark places, and so I seldom look for him there.

I'm good at tasks, I'm not so good at Gospel responsibility.

Sometimes the pressure of responsibility forces us outside of structures that bind, sometimes the structures themselves cannot cope. Either way, it hurts.

If you would like to find out more about Kevin's remarkable ministry please visit the Labyrinth website.

My sadness tonight is doubled - this good brother and friend, a true Christ follower has left our ministry out of conviction.

On the same day I received a phone call to tell me of litigation against our Church by someone who was dismissed on an issue of discipline. He is likely to be re-admitted to the ministry because of a technicality in the disciplinary process.

And so, I am pressed, I am troubled, I am disturbed, I am afflicted. Perhaps I am not cut out for leadership because I fear that I cannot bear the weight of this responsibility - I wish I could simply do the tasks...

Please pray for our Church. Pray that we would have the courage to love like Christ.