If you're thinking of joining an 'organised crime syndicate' (like the Mafia, the Nigerians, or the cowboys!?) here are 10 commandments to help you!

Yup, our minister of Justice informed us (South Africans) on Thursday this week that 'organised' crime was growing at such a rapid rate in Southern Africa that they were unable to cope with it.

When I heard this I thought two thoughts (which is an incredible feat for me! I had to lie down afterwards!)

First, I thought that it is never a good idea to announce to your citizens that you don't have a handle on crime!!

Second, I thought that having made that very astute announcement to the public, many enterprising persons may consider joining a crime syndicate of some sorts since there seems to be little chance of being caught!

So, here are the 10 commandments for joining the Mafia [insert name of organised crime syndicate here]:

The BBC reports that when Italian police searched a Mafia boss' hideout, they found a list of ten rules for proper mafioso etiquette.

1. No-one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.

2. Never look at the wives of friends.

3. Never be seen with cops.

4. Don?t go to pubs and clubs.

5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty - even if your wife?s about to give birth.

6. Appointments must absolutely be respected. [someone should teach our mafia friends that split infinitives are never acceptable in English sentences!!! Perhaps they should have a language editor read their work before making it public, or putting it into print... Just a thought - Dion]

7. Wives must be treated with respect.

8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.

9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families. [This makes for a pretty poor crime strategy! Heck you couldn't even be a small time dictator, or the next President of the ANC with a strategy like this! These guys should spend a bit of time with our politicians to see how to 'miss-appropriate' the funds of others. Just a thought for criminals... Dion]

10. People who can?t be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn?t hold to moral values.

Very interesting isn't it! Heck, these guys obviously operated in a time when honour was far more important than success... Now compare the above to Gene Autry's Cowboy Code (from 1930 - look how clean cut he is! Rule 8 makes perfect sense), which I think is just about the best set of rules for living a good life that I ever seen:

1. The Cowboy must never shoot first, hit a smaller man or take an unfair advantage.

2. A Cowboy must never go back on his word, or a trust confided in him.

3. A Cowboy must always tell the truth.

4. A Cowboy must be gentle with children, the elderly and small animals.

5. A Cowboy must not adovcate or possess racially or religiously interolerant views and ideas.

6. A Cowboy must help people in distress.

7. A Cowboy must be a good worker.

8. A Cowboy must keep himself clean in thought, speech, action and personal habits.

9. A Cowboy must respect women, parents and his nations's views.

10. A Cowboy is a patriot.

Link (Via The Day The Tried to Kill Me)

I thought this was quite good. At some stage we tried to design a 'code of conduct' for Methodist ministers. We do have the 'Rules of the Helper', but we wanted to make something more contemporary.... One of the rules was not to argue, but we couldn't agree on that, so we gave up ;-)

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